AlwaysAnUnquietMind

Melancholy and Madness is I ...

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the end by AlwaysAnUnquietMind, literature

Literature

the end

i trust you with my burning tears and with all the secrets that I have kept i give them to you for all hope is now gone the fears have overcome my life guilt is now my overwhelming enemy memories of sunsets are forever fading i embrace the dark as an ever present lover this embrace of yours sears my soul to the core my end is now rapidly approaching there is little left for me to do now after all that I've tried for all these years it seems like a poor excuse of a life when it is finally over I will still not be at peace my soul will be condemned to wander eternally to seek forgiveness from those that I have harmed from loves l

where by AlwaysAnUnquietMind, literature

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holidays and hell days by AlwaysAnUnquietMind, literature

Literature

holidays and hell days

holidays are hell days the things that were perpetrated against me while at the very least were criminal acts but more importantly they removed all happiness from my life being molested and yes raped on every single holiday and birthday for a four year period eliminated anything joyous from my entire being i now find excuses to spend such days alone with my tears my fears and my anger i cannot feel like you do christmas holds no special appeal as does new years easter is but a time of pain and birthdays are days of horror i am and always will be alone my year holds but 365 days and none of them are special they may be

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the end by AlwaysAnUnquietMind, literature

Literature

the end

where by AlwaysAnUnquietMind, literature

Longing for Grace by AlwaysAnUnquietMind, literature

Literature

Longing for Grace

Chaining you down I see your eyes dilate I see your muscles tense I see everything I want in front of me But I can not have any of it All that is within my grasp is but air Unseen forces are holding me back from you I see everything I want in front of me My vision is messed up Not what it once was My need for you has increased Despite my unwillingness to make you mine I feel the restraints that are holding me back A dense fog clouds my vision There is a hunger for you that I have not felt in ages And I am not willing to succumb to these devices I don't want to want you As much as I do I want you to want me For you to feel t

confusion by AlwaysAnUnquietMind, literature

Literature

confusion

i've finally made up my mind maybe not is this what they call insanity bipolar maybe and this is my normal i want to be alone i hate to be alone i can't stand the silence i need the silence is this what they call insanity bipolar maybe and this my normal i know what i want i'm not sure i'm up i'm down i'm all around i'm here i'm there i'm every where is this what they call insanity bipolar maybe and this is my normal i'm calm i'm uneasy i trust you i don't trust you...

a ravaged heart by AlwaysAnUnquietMind, literature

Literature

a ravaged heart

once there was a soul inside something to keep the shell together but that's been dead for a long time now and any vestiges of hold that once were they are now gone and there is nothing left to keep me from falling to pieces so my skin rips itself apart to show what little remains inside it solely consists of a small, frozen and broken heart it used to be a human heart a heart like any other here lies what happens to a heart in the real mortal world

some call her Xacto by AlwaysAnUnquietMind, literature

Literature

some call her Xacto

her body so long and slender fits perfectly in my hand she comes with many different types of blades she lives in a comfortable padded wooden box she likes when i take her out for our special dates she always is prepared for anything lines, curves or words she is meticulous about her cutting edges she take great pride in her appearance she hates her given name Xacto i call her Ophelia she only speaks to me she ignores the rest of the world she will compliment me on a job well done she says that my blood is like a fine wine sweet yet mellow she has never broken a promise to me unlike most of the other women

the sun ... my enemy by AlwaysAnUnquietMind, literature

Literature

the sun ... my enemy

the sun my enemy recharges my mind my thoughts begin to race way beyond their norm the sun my enemy recharges my illness i begin to shake my hands tremble i can't focus the sun my enemy recharges my nightmares i can no longer sleep to dream but i sleep to scream the sun my enemy recharges the urges i fight to control them and all there nasty thoughts of death and harm the sun my enemy recharges my death wish suicidal ideations plaque every waking moment the tools of destruction are handy the sun my enemy recharges the pain pain so intolerable that I wish to perish to wither away the sun my enemy is also m

to my birth mother... by AlwaysAnUnquietMind, literature

sometimes by AlwaysAnUnquietMind, literature

Literature

sometimes

Sometimes it takes a thousand tiny deaths to feel alive to feel anything Sometime it takes feeling nothing to attempt to function Sometimes it takes all your concentration to keep the atoms of your being from ripping apart Sometimes it takes every ounce of your weak will just to not care Sometimes you can't hear anything over the screaming of your brain trying to perceive reality Sometimes the only thing you can manage is to keep breathing and just barely And sometimes it takes oblivion which is nothing that you possess

each day... by AlwaysAnUnquietMind, literature

Literature

each day...

i die every time that the sun rises it leads to another day of pain when i am forced to rise from my bed the prospect of a new day is unbearable this pain that encompasses my being has refused to leave my life endless thoughts of self destruction continually appear in my mind is there any way that this pain can end or must i take my own life for it to be over i cannot take these endless days of drudgery continuous black clouds always block the sun

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Loved you... Gone Forever..? by Tygerdancebeat, literature

It's Time... by CaronCecilia, literature

Literature

It's Time...

Chains got a hold of you, cutting in your wings as you lounge about in your grief; comfortable in your agony. Time to break free, butterfly! You cannot fly when your wings are stretched taut by things you cannot control. Let go of your shackles, butterfly! Give in to things you cannot dictate. Your wings are tattered from self-inflicted wounds. Fly away, butterfly! It's time to heal before your wings no longer spread.

Helpless by VertigoArt, literature

Secret by CaronCecilia, literature

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Seven Eight Nine by CaronCecilia, literature

Literature

Seven Eight Nine

How can you like what you see? This tainted, needy body laying before you in heaps of anguish. Streaks of red on this lily-white canvas; eyes dim to the sight you behold. You look beyond the stained, beyond the slivered flesh and see perfection, where perfection does not exist. You strive to see what lies inside this torn flesh, to the heart beneath. But the heart is broken and bruised the color of night as lightning streaks across the sky. Is this what you wanted, the used? Is this what your own heart desires, or does this decrepit heart allow you to see past your own desolation? Questions, my dear, can only be answered by reality in

One Two Three by EatingMyOwnFears, literature

Dance of Dreams by CaronCecilia, literature

Literature

Dance of Dreams

Neon my night light, jukebox my lullaby. Music playing soft and slow soothes my lonely mind. I stare at couples on the dance floor moving to the beat of the song and I wish you were here with me, I wish I moved in your arms. I sit at a table for one, in the corner all alone. I close my eyes and you are here; my body sways on its own. Our bodies touch as we dance, your hand moves to cover mine. You look at me and smile, and my heart skips a beat. The song ends and I open my eyes, realizing it was wishful thinking. As I leave the bar alone, I look forward to my dream becoming reality.

Coral Head by ejectionletter, literature

Literature

Coral Head

You took in sea water as if it was oxygen and two white reefs formed half moons in your mouth, a barricade of coral heads. When I tried to kiss you they spoke back instead and with my tongue I felt their braided cheeks until it was no longer you and I inside. Your mouth grew wider to accommodate the fish, nesting eel esses in the well beside your morals, pushed me out slowly to make room for lonesome anemone. Amongst sea companions I could no longer find your skin, and the barnacles and coral heads all leered.

61. Listen to the Rain by Soul-Reader, literature

Literature

61. Listen to the Rain

Soon we'll be here again Reliving The tears and the pain Not knowing What to do next Just stumbling through the dark With only a candle For guidance Everything is stripped away Down to the naked flesh The tenderness of her breast For do you still remember? The night you first committed That act The unknown horror And now Years later It is only starting to affect Listen to the Rain And the sounds Of your pain For we have arrived At a crossroads Which way do we go? Tonight the hour struck Tears flowed Goodbyes were said And now Just Listen To The Rain

Words to Cut By by EatingMyOwnFears, literature

Literature

Words to Cut By

Your voice cuts like a blade into the real me. I hear the gasp (Was that you or me?) just before red is released, hot and wet sliding down like a snake in heat. Tight and round sliding down like a silver plated cork screw, twisting tighter, cutting deeper. Strangling and squeezing, setting me free. Your words dig in deep like rugged nails into my skin, deep purple moons forming until the I scream, blood and semen smearing over squared 70s kitsch tiles. I feel dirty and unworthy, My flesh is never good enough, marked by the wrong scars and stains of my impurities. When you finally realize how impotent I truly am, I will be le

Beckon Me by meljoy68, literature

Literature

Beckon Me

"Beckon Me" The trees are tall, the moon is wide. It shines so bright, I cannot hide. The stars beckon me, calling me near. I cannot fight; I have no fear. Our love is strong just like the tree. It bears the joy of you and me. And like the moon, our love is bright. It blazes hot all through the night. As with the stars I have no fear. So beckon me, love, call me near. I will not fight for I love you so. So beckon me, love, and don't let go.

Elegy by nycterent, literature

Us by ejectionletter, literature

Literature

Us

Maybe it was us, those people we hated on the blacktop, in the red-dirt track circle around the football field, legs dragging long lines of sand across the high school plateau. It could have been us, that we ran from, pants around our ankles, skin tucked up underneath our shoulderblades, we always did have a pinched look about us. So, it could have been us in the art room, at the board writing calligraphy across painted flowers, making captions with our teeth, making hickeys on the boys' necks because everything's a canvas. Wouldn't you say that it could have been us and everything about ourselves, that it was us, wear

blind faith by kallia-goldenwings, literature

Literature

blind faith

there she stand blind faith the great lady of justice we all just take her word as honest plain jane truth or is it just a lie we will never know we all just take her word as the honest plain jane truth this is they way of life we never seek the truth we know the truth already this is how we live only life is not blind faith only love is blingd faith that it kills us to let go of love so we never do we continue to blind our selves to tie scarfs on our faces blind our selves to our lover's flwas when we are all falwed our selves why must love blind us why can't we see the truth why faith blind why can't we see the col

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catharine 4-1 by AlwaysAnUnquietMind, visual art

catharine 4-1

AlwaysAnUnquietMind

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MENTALLY-ILL-ART

About AlwaysAnUnquietMind

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Artist

Sep 9
United States
Deviant for 15 years
He / Him

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My Bio

Current Residence: Massachusetts
Print preference: Boot
Favourite genre of music: All
Favourite photographer: Robert Mapplethorpe before going insane
Favourite style of art: My Own .. hey at least I am honest
Operating System: Do we compare penis sizes next?
Shell of choice: Unfortunately the one I have now
Wallpaper of choice: One that stays on the wall successfully
Skin of choice: it depends on the wine
Favourite cartoon character: Marvin Martian
Personal Quote: "Whom the Gods destroy they first make mad."

Favourite Visual Artist

hieronymus bosch

Favourite Movies

Lovers On the Bridge

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

Enigma

Favourite Writers

Sylvia Plath

Favourite Games

Mind

Favourite Gaming Platform

Floor or couch

Tools of the Trade

brownie camera .. WTF! and who cares

Other Interests

Please ask me ...

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AlwaysAnUnquietMind

Apr 19, 2011

Is there a Hell?

19 votes

Yes

I sure hope there isn't

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AlwaysAnUnquietMind

Apr 19, 2011

It's almost over

0 min read

I am dead but I am still waiting for the coroner to pronounce the time of death. Thus I shall wait just a little longer for that to happen. I can no longer lay claim to being even a small part of society nor part of a family for that matter. A part of the human race I am not. Loneliness has finally managed to embrace me within her cold arms forever. There is no longer any chance of escaping her. Being alone was once a choice. Now all of the choices have been removed. Everyone has retreated from beyond my sight. I have been confined to solitary. Seven days a week all I have contact with are memories. All that I hear are whispers and echoes

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AlwaysAnUnquietMind

Feb 21, 2011

Soon

0 min read

Because I could not stop for Death, He kindly stopped for me. The Carriage held but just ourselves And Immortality ~Emily Dickinson

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Profile Comments 866

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Happy Birthday sir.

love your art!

where did you go?

I did not go anywhere. But I am suffering from liver cancer (hepatocellular carcinoma). I knew from the start that when I was diagnosed that I would refuse all treatments. So I have been wandering the globe in search of nothing (reference to an obscure movie titled "My Dinner With Andre"). I am now back home and we shall see what that brings to me. I have been following your works while on the road and I must say that I still admire your talent and your zest for life. Pathetically you have been the only one that has noticed that I have been absent .... Thank you from the bottom of my heart ...

LaurieLefebvre

Jan 18, 2012

I am sorry to here about the cancer, that sucks. I lost my dad to cancer and watched him go through the process. I hope being back home brings you some comfort.

Thx for the Watch...

Thx for the Watch!