I am dead but I am still waiting for the coroner to pronounce the time of death. Thus I shall wait just a little longer for that to happen.
I can no longer lay claim to being even a small part of society nor part of a family for that matter. A part of the human race I am not.
Loneliness has finally managed to embrace me within her cold arms forever. There is no longer any chance of escaping her.
Being alone was once a choice. Now all of the choices have been removed. Everyone has retreated from beyond my sight. I have been confined to solitary.
Seven days a week all I have contact with are memories. All that I hear are whispers and echoes of the past. No one cares that I am all alone.
Oh how I crave for another human voice. I yearn to hear the words "How are you" because I know that I shall never hear the words "I love you" ever again.
Warm embraces and genuine smiles have left my life on the other side of the abyss eternally. I can no longer be loved by another person.
There once were smiles and sunshine in my life. The sounds of a child's laughter as once evident to me. Now the darkness has enveloped them.
I no longer gaze towards the stars and wonder. The feel of sand and the sound of the surf are no longer within my mind.
I have heard so many false promises of false forever's. So many lies of eternities that would never happen have been uttered to me. The only true words ever spoken to me by others were the words "Good Bye".
The ever present darkness now controls my constant thoughts and my written words. I am but a shadow amongst bright lights and dancers.
I no longer keep past photographic memories. They are all false facades. I only keep those that I now create. All filled with darkness and despair, death and tears. They reflect the true me.
Once I thought I caught a glimpse of myself but it was just a shadow. It must surely have been me. Void of all light.
I am now a leper, scorned and abandoned by humanity. Alienated and isolated I am. Donne was wrong. A man can be an island unto himself.
Euripides said "Whom the Gods destroy they first make mad." I believe this to be true.